How to get a Christmas tree in the tropics.
1. Drive on a motorbike to a city 25 minutes away and search for the least hideous and outrageously priced tree you can find and purchase.
2. Struggle in 95 degree heat in the parking lot to get the box with the Christmas tree and a 6 year old onto the bike .
3. Ignore suggestions from 'helpful' bystanders that the child can just sit on the box like a bench in the back.
4. Leave parking lot with box precariously perched horizontally on your lap making any kind of sharp turn impossible.
5. Head towards home but see a sign saying that the only road you know to take to get home is closed.
6. Keep driving and ask a man walking down the road for directions.
7. Realize he's drunk and move right along.
8. See a long line of cars going down the road and follow them thinking they must know the way
9. Realize they are taxis going up the mountain to a school to pick up kids just getting released.
10. Decide to turn around with much difficulty due to Christmas tree still on lap.
11. Stop at a small store and buy 50 cents worth of rope/string to tie Christmas tree to the back of the bike and move daughter to the front. Much easier for turning!
12. Finally find the alternate route home.
13. Stop to take a drink of water (did I mention it's around 95 degrees?) and see you're low on gas.
14. Decide to try to make it home because stopping for gas means untying the Christmas tree!
15. 15 min later and 10 min away from your house- run out of gas:(
16. Push your bike in the hot HOT sun for 1/2 a mile.
17. Threaten your daughter when she says that she's tired and can't keep going by telling her she will get run over by a truck if she doesn't stay right next to you and then gently inform her that "No, I can not stop halfway up this hill!"
18. Arrive at a little stand that sells gasoline.
19. Reluctantly untie Christmas tree and guzzle a bottle of water as sweat drips off your face.
20. After your bike is full, retie Christmas tree to the back and continue on your merry way home!
This is one method. I can't say it's my preferred way, but the end result is that we have a tree... and a funny story:)